"Self-portrait"
"Everything has a reason"
Knowing oneself is probably the most difficult task we come to complete in this life. The vast majority of us will never achieve it; after all, if it weren't such a complex matter, existential questions like where happiness resides or what our purpose in life is would not exist.
Over the last few years, I shifted from being obsessed with this topic to simply accepting that I am in a constant state of flux. To accept that this will probably prevent me from ever truly feeling like I know myself, since every time I think I am close, life brings such sudden changes that it never fails to surprise me. Some come from the outside, while others creep in silently, bit by bit, from within.
Through this work, I wanted to represent that lack of knowledge and that ongoing quest, embodied by the abstract black hole of the truncated cone. These forces of the universe represent an enigma that stands out as much for its magnitude as for its allure, just like life itself. In doing so, it also reflects that part of me drawn to science and the search for answers.
Another defining trait of my personality and, in fact, the only one I truly feel completely defines me, and which can be observed in the self-portrait, is contrast. If I asked the people who know me to name one characteristic about me, I am certain I could also identify with its absolute opposite. I wanted to represent this through the interplay of straight and curved lines, and the vibrant force of color against a white background.
This limbo of feeling part of everything and nothing at the same time makes me perceive life as a quest without answers, an endless path. It can sound overwhelming or daunting, and at times I certainly feel it that way, but I have also learned to see the beauty in it. The beauty of knowing you will never reach a final destination is what gives the journey relevance and makes it thrilling, even if, as I say, it is not always easy. I wanted to represent this rollercoaster of emotions that shapes my life and personality through the bi-directionality of the self-portrait, which can be interpreted either as an expansion of shapes and colors or as an immersion of them toward the interior.
Finally, the choice of colors stems from my projection into the future. I aim to be the 'Bauhaus' of whatever field I work in. Not so much to leave a mark or be remembered, but out of a desire to break molds and contribute something that sparks conversation.
"Everything has a process"
Materials: extruded polystyrene, white cardstock, double-sided tape, masking tape, scissors, utility knife, sandpaper, clips, hot wire foam cutter, water-based spray paint, foam-safe glue.
Process:
1. I sketched and determined the dimensions of the truncated cone. This was done by scaling the measurements of my initial sketch to preserve the proportions I liked.
2. I drew four developments of the truncated cone. After drawing the first pattern, I traced the remaining three based on it, slightly increasing their thickness to facilitate the rolling process.
3. I cut out the developments freehand using a utility knife.
4. I rolled the four layers of cardstock, securing each one with double-sided tape, which provided a strong hold without warping the paper.
5. Using a hot wire foam cutter, I cut several pieces of extruded polystyrene into cubes, rectangular prisms, and triangular prisms. The spheres were purchased pre-made.
6. Using a utility knife, I sectioned each of these pieces so that I could carve and fit them into the cone with the help of sandpaper, aiming to create the illusion that they were piercing through it.
7. I marked the fitting placement for each piece using a utility knife to serve as assembly guides for the final layout.
8. I painted all the pieces using water-based spray paint.
9. I assembled and secured all the pieces in place using a specialized polystyrene adhesive.
